Dinner and a…

Tonight was supposed to be date night. I’d been waiting all week for this. Dinner AND a movie! I was a little worried about RJ, it had been months since we got a sitter for him. Not because we didn’t like her, but as he got older, we discovered that it wasn’t a hassle to take him with us, out to dinner or to run errands. However, lately we’ve come to realize he needs to be around other people. It takes him some time, if ever, for him to warm up to family and friends. So, we got a sitter to let him be around a new face and give us some couple time.

Though, I was hoping it wouldn’t be the case, I had a feeling he would not deal well with the situation. Just as we were finishing up our meal, I got a text from the sitter to call her before we went to the theater. As soon as she answered the phone, I immediately asked if he had been screaming. She said yes. She said she could handle it but he had been crying off an on, more on than off, for the hour an a half we’d been gone. I told her we were coming home. I know I wouldn’t want to keep a crying child for four hours! As soon as we walked through the door and he saw our faces, you could see the stress leave his face, the tears stopped and he smiled. His world was normal again. The sitter said he would calm down at times, then look at her a burst into tears again! I feel so bad, like I’m a bad mom raising a spoiled child who only wants to be around her. The sitter in no way suggested that but it’s how I feel.

When we found out we would be able to forego daycare and keep RJ home with us, I thought it was an ideal situation. We would avoid the daycare sicknesses, for now, and we wouldn’t miss those all important baby firsts. We didn’t take into account that he wouldn’t have an opportunity to interact with other people on a regular basis. We don’t have any family in the area and the majority of our friends don’t live her, either. So, the only time he sees other faces is when we are in a store.

We are thankful the sitter, who is also my co-worker, agreed to try again for a shorter period of time. We are hoping slow and steady will win separation anxiety race!


  • Reply kita June 26, 2011 at 12:20 am

    Aww so sad. We don’t go out for that reason alone I hate to burden other people with our crying child. My son goes everywhere but my daughter she won’t go to anybody. The only person she goes to lives about an hr away from me. So for us to have a date night we would have to pack up the kids drive over to her go out then drive the hr back home. We just don’t feel like it. I did not have any of my kids in daycare but my son was always a person that stayed with others no problem my daughter has that seperation anxiety and she is 2. I hope things get better maybe go to the sitter and sit with him for a few minutes then sneak out the door just to see if he will notice or cry. Good luck

    • Reply Jenni June 26, 2011 at 1:18 am

      Thank you, at least I know I’m not alone. It could very well just be his personality. He could just be a shy baby, my husband is the same way, not big on new people. I’m the outgoing one. Hopefully he will get better.

  • Reply MrsTDJ June 27, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    We are in the same boat. Since my mother takes care of our son, he’s usually with us, my mom or my dad. He does not respond well to most other people. We are working this summer to help him open up to others a little more. It’s a real challenge.

    • Reply Jenni June 30, 2011 at 4:41 pm

      We too will continue to work with him this summer, in hopes of breaking him out of his shell. Good luck to you:)

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