Day to Day

Choices

Last week, I came across an incredible job opportunity.  I wasn’t searching but literally happened upon it by accident.   It would have allowed more family time, some semblance of a “normal” work schedule for the first time in my career and the chance to do something I love.  It came down to me an one other person and the ability to speak  fluent Spanish, which I don’t,  the other person does so they got the spot. Though, I am disappointed,they offered me another job, but only part time. We aren’t in a position where I can only work part time, so I would  have to keep my current full time job in addition to the part time.  This would mean I would rarely, if EVER see my son or husband during the week. Also, because I work weekends from time to time, with my current job, it wouldn’t be a guarantee I would see them then.
So, I have to choose my family over career. Not a hard choice. There is no way I could, consciously, make a decision that would take me away from my son five or six days a week, especially if I didn’t have to. Just the thought of it breaks my heart. Though, I’m disappointed at the outcome, I have to believe this was not meant for me. Maybe the next opportunity will be, until then, I’m thankful for the job I have and the time I get to spend with those I love the most.

Speaking of those I love the most, I’m sure many of you remember the date night post. Well, that prompted us to reevaluate our decision to keep RJ home with us. We don’t have any immediate family in the area an our closets friends are at least an hour away. Though, we absolutely love keeping him at home, we feel this will be good for him and us. So, we have decided to enroll RJ in daycare. We feel he needs to  interact with other adults and kids. Also, we want to make this transition while he is still young.  So, we found a good daycare with a good curriculum and small class sizes. It is a church daycare and we like the fact that they will incorporate some religion in the curriculum. Due to my second shift schedule and the fact that I sometimes work on weekends, he will not go all day. I will go back to my forty hour week and drop him off on my way to work and Hubby will pick him up when he gets off work. This is similar to what we do now, expect there be daycare time in between the swap. All in all he will probably only be there about four hours each day, more if I have an appointment or have to go into work early. Ultimately, this plan gives both of us quality time with him and he will also get to socialize with others.

This experience has made it clear what my priorities are. My family comes first. Subjecting myself to both a part time an a full time job, with the hopes of getting a foot in the door, doesn’t hold a candle to taking my son to the park, reading him a book, hearing him laugh or just seeing him while he’s awake. So, I choose the latter and continue to have faith that one day I’ll get the opportunity of a lifetime and I won’t have to choose between family and career.

Have you ever had choose between family and career or daycare and keeping your child at home? Was it a hard choice or a no brainer?

8 Comments

  • Reply oursweetlifetogether July 8, 2011 at 2:08 am

    Omg I totally get it. We made the choice for me to stay home so I would be there. It was the most rewarding thing we did for our children. Great post. I loved it.

  • Reply kita July 8, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    When I first had my son I was more interested in looking for a job than taking care of him. I did not put him first as my priority I was so busy trying to find a way to make money to provide. Now that I have been home with both of my kids it’s been rewarding and hard at the same time. I want to work but I need a job that pays enough for daycare so my options are limited. I make sure I schedule play dates for my kids and since I take them everywhere with me they get a lot of social time. Make the decision you are most comfortable with and everything else will fall into place.

    • Reply Jenni July 8, 2011 at 8:45 pm

      Thank you for sharing. I feel the best thing for me and him is to decline the part time offer. I have faith that one day, when I least expect it, as it happened this time around, I will get a job that will give great satisfaction and quality time with my family. I’m thankful that even though this job didn’t pan out, I still have a full time job making decent money. I’m not the best at scheduling play dates, I have to work on that. However, my husband an I have noticed that in the last few days our son has become more accepting of people. Eventually we want another child, I’m not sure how that will affect my work and daycare situation. “Good” daycare is NOT cheap, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

  • Reply Quiana July 9, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    What a timely post! I’ve been debating returning to work outside the home and had a couple opportunities that almost worked out, but when they fell apart I was ok because I’ve decided that where I am now is where I’m supposed to be and if it’s supposed to be somewhere else then that door will open. For now I will enjoy being in the now at home with my daughter. This is time that I will never get back and will be happy I’m sure long-term to have spent it with her.

  • Reply Amber July 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    I’m exactly where you are on both points! I look at career opportunities totally different now that I’m a mom than I did before. Family absolutely comes first! My husband is staying home with our LO until her first birthday (that’s the plan) or until he can find a full time job that will help foot the insane bill that daycare comes with. Now that she’s getting older I do think about her being socialized. She does relatively well with others, but it’s not everyday. I’m trusting that it will all work itself out for both of our families!

  • Reply deborah l quinn July 13, 2011 at 9:40 am

    It’s a tough choice, that family/work thing. Something always feels like it’s getting short shrift–and for moms, of course, the thing that suffers is SELF. But remember what Oprah says: you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others…make sure to take a little mommy-time along the way!

  • Reply Mimi July 19, 2011 at 12:59 am

    I decided to leave my cushy corporate position in pursuit of being a SAHM to my children. I was paid well, but I traveled extensively and at the time I only had one child, and my husband took on my role. I was miserable. I missed so much of him growing up. Staying home was difficult for me at first. I missed my life to an extent. It has been a transition but I am better for it. I will never get these years back with my children. If that means sacrifice then I take it gladly. I can always work but my children will never be small again.

    I’m not against working, but the opportunity would have to be just right. You’ll know when it is!

  • Reply wedding music bands July 25, 2011 at 3:43 am

    Thank you for this article. That’s all I can say. You most definitely have made this blog into something special. You clearly know what you are doing, you’ve covered so many bases.Thanks!

  • Leave a Reply