So I’ve been a mom for a month!! Wow, all the Mom’s I know weren’t kidding when they said the time flies by! I truly feel as if I JUST pushed him out. This month has been the biggest learning experience I’ve ever had. I have to admit I’ve had and still have my moments of “Mommy Blues”. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing nothing right. It’s hard for a person who is a “director” by trade, to relinquish all control and deal with a person who won’t do what you say. I’m still wrapping my head around the concept. I’ve had co-workers tell me my planning nature wouldn’t work with an infant. I have to admit to myself that they were right:( This is the biggest and hardest thing I’ve ever attempted. *An undertaking that lasts lifetime.* A lot of the time, I just want my OWN mommy!
I’m learning that I could have waited forever to decide to have a child and I would have NEVER been completely ready for this! It is a hard job. I can’t imagine doing this on my own, as a teenager or in my early twenties. Hats off to my mom, who started out as a single mother, and to all moms taking on this fulltime job alone. If this is your circumstance, I pray you have a support system because I would be lost without my husband, friends and family.
Despite all of the life changes and stress, the majority of my month of parenthood has been wonderful. My son’s smile makes me forget that I’m operating on no sleep, that he was just screaming for 10mins straight, for seemingly no reason, or that he refuses to sleep in any of his beds! That smile makes it all worth it. I know how blessed we are to have him. We planned to get pregnant, were successful on our first try and went through a problem free, nearly text book, pregnancy. There are couples who are praying for a baby and subjecting their bodies to all sorts of drugs and treatments to make it happen. So, when I’m at my wits end and wondering if I’m in over my head, I remember my blessing and the smile on my son’s face and I’m beyond thankful.